Established in 2020

Sunday, February 14, 2021

To All the Boys I will Love After

Happy Valentine's Day to all my lovelies, 

Love is in the air and sadly there is so much space between people these days. I am just getting started on my love journey. Though I am a geared focus student and majestic curator I still have insight into relationships at 17 and during this particular time in a pandemic. Right now it feels like I am living in one of Jenny Han’s novels because I am living the main character's life, where it includes me and entanglements with guys; and not the Jada Pinkett Smith kind! 

[Disclaimer: I am used to dudes of all ages trying to get my attention, but it does not make it any less weird] 

At first I did not know what it was about me that attracted them if it was my coily-curls, my wide eyes, my uplifting smile, my hazelnut complexion, my stellar sense of style, or my personality; Or I am (thinking way too much into this) just in love with myself. I realized that it was me all of me that guys liked, which is weird to me because I always thought of myself as beautiful (even when I was not at my best), and now it is like others can see that I am beautiful too?! I am allowed to date and I am even encouraged to by family because they constantly ask me: Are you dating anyone? Do you have a crush on someone? Isn't he cute? Those questions have become annoying and I could imagine the situations and the conversations that other girls my age get asked. It is honestly a problem with this culture because if you are a single woman then you are lonely or different (in a bad way), but with singularity is individuality.

After seeing To All the Boys I've Loved Before and P.S. I Still Love You, for the fifteenth time and the book inspired me to make a contract myself. [This contract can be versatile for anyone] I feel like I am at the strategic point of my young adulthood and I have some things to share with my future self about love, that I do not want to forget. 

  1. I will only say I love you when I mean it
  2. I would want to be together because we would like each other, not because we are familiar with one another.
  3. Put yourself first but do not be vacant when needed
  4. I will never lie - I will never hurt you
  5. I will always be present in the relationship; Never talk about break-ups or think about it
  6. Do not tolerate the partner if they compare to their ex's
  7. We should strive and encourage ourselves to become better
  8. Be open-minded: watch, listen, travel, eat to what partner likes (versa)
  9. Learn Patience
  10. Be comfortable with the uncomfortable relationships
  11. Do not let the relationship get too serious; Try to put a smile on the face
  12. I will be your ride or die in a zombie apocalypse
  13. Never argue but explain, to move on because of an argument
  14. If you are permanent, I'll be your best friend #soulmate
  15. Look for intimacy, not intercourse

Dating is a commitment, not a challenge or a test trail. I have witnessed plenty of terrible relationships and if I would have said, YES, I could have been in them myself. When I am ready to date these are my conditions and I want to remember them no matter how my love seems; because love is a priority and is like nothing else. If this year has taught me anything is infinite and can stretch further than a day.

Always and Forever,

Natalia O.

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